BILLY GETS HIS GROOVE BACK...SORT OF-

It is almost nine o,clock p.m. and the surf outside our bedroom window looks like a backdrop for "Deadliest Catch". Inky, white-frothed waves are hammering the beach as a howling wind whistles through a tiny crack in the doorwall next to my bed. Much earlier today, in better weather conditions - I hit a couple buckets of balls at the local driving range. The key word in that last sentence is "hit".

Some balls were hit, some were shanked, a few popped skyward and many blazed a scorching path across the burned out winter grass that covered the ground in front of me. Those were just the balls in my first bucket.

Much like the weather, my golf game seems to be in a state of permanent flux, even with new clubs, a shiny just-purchased golf cart (pull type), and a pair of barely broken in, snazzy sandals. I think this flux must have a lot to do with another recent golfing equipment addition: A subscription to "Golf Digest".

Here is a sampling of thoughts going through my noggin as I draw back my enormous 460 cc, 10.5 loft driver with it's unique grooves designed to facilitate proper swing path: Left arm straight; right upper arm close to the body; rotate right hip, bringing club parallel to shoulders; do not move head; follow through - hands slightly ahead of shaft and finally...duck - hook tiny white sphere a hundred and fifty yards left. DAMN YOU, GOLF DIGEST!!!

Fortunately, by my second bucket of balls many of the tips I had mentally ingested started to work a bit. Keeping my hands slightly ahead of the shaft while chipping and pitching, then following through really seemed to work. My drives are beginning to go further also - when I do connect. I think this all boils down to another term I may have read in some other magazine; It is called "practicing". Maybe I will give that a shot.

Meanwhile the latest copy of Golf Digest will be left on a table in our condo lobby, where tenants often leave gifts of reading material for other unsuspecting souls to peruse. A lovely present that another golf junkie can use to fill his own noggin with useful tips while awaiting a break in this raging weather.

I'll know who took it when I see them at the range, muttering and cursing softly under their breath while trying out all of their own recently acquired swing thoughts.